Three things I'm bad with...

and therefore they annoy me:

Bikes
Especially when they almost castrate you.
U-Lock Bike Locks
Especially when I can't fricking lock them without a 10 minute struggle.
Names
Especially since I forget nearly everyone's name. And I don't exaggerate. I've nearly called pretty much everyone I know the wrong name. There's always a moment of doubt, no matter how long I've known you. Even if it's for a split second, my brain is conflicted.
It's as if there were two people inside my brain. One is over-eager, loud, and mistaken. This one shouts out several different names pretty rapidly. And then there's the part of my brain that knows what the hell he's doing, but he's shy, so I don't quite hear him as well.

(warning... James' overarching generalization that makes no sense coming in 3...2...)

It would be so much easier if we were all just named "You" or something like that.

Wait... me can has no facebook?

According to facebook.com: "Hey, your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologize for the inconvenience."

No Facebook... for hours?

Everything feels so cold...

Low Flow? I don't like the sound of that...

If someone can tell me what the title of this post is quoting, you'll officially win a super-awesome JamesThoughts T-Shirt* Absolutely Free**

And now, some NONSENSICAL RAMBLING

-I wonder where the term "best boy grip" comes from... I bet that it's a pretty dirty story.

-I'm back in LA.

-While cleaning the kitchen today and using a various number of cleaning products, I suddenly remembered a story about a man who used two different products (i think it was ammonia and bleach). The chemical reaction proved deadly, so the ending of the story seems pretty obvious. I then started to worry that I was making the same mistake, because I had no clue what the hell I was using. I suddenly got very dizzy, and I'm not sure if it was deadly fumes or just me being paranoid. I'm pretty sure it was just my recurring fear of dying on a dirty kitchen floor and not being discovered for a week because my roommate is out of town. I mean, I think that's in most people's top-5.

-I am way too weak for Apple products and their sexiness.

-"Becoming Jane" is a somewhat interesting movie title. "Becoming Maverick: The Wizard Robot" is a much more interesting one.

-I live in an apartment with the Clapper in it. That's right: the Clapper. I've secretly wanted a clapper since I was 7 (it feels like magic!), but I could never bring myself to buy one. Then I show up at the apartment this week, and there it was. I think I can die (by a mixture of ammonia and bleach) happy now.


*Does not exist
**does not necessarily mean free

Hey Beautiful

So, I'm back from a little hiatus. Since I last updated, l've been up to a lot. I've finished an outline (yet I have a couple that I need to finish), I've seen 5 shows on Broadway, and I've read roughly 2,900 pages of Harry Potter.

And as I am tired and a bit delirious, I'll be more brief in my thoughts than I would usually like to be.

However, I must say that I absolutely loved the Harry Potter books, and moreso as the story grew in scope and significance. I read the first 3 books in about a month and a half, casually getting through small chunks (though I started gaining a lot of speed by book 3). And then I read books 4-7 in a little over a week. I found the Harry Potter septology (not a word) to be a great complex story with a deeply satisfying ending. I'm currently reading Campbell's "Hero With a Thousand Faces" and a lot of it applies (in my opinion) to Harry Potter, which has deeply mythic themes, characters, and motifs. Once I finish the book, I might write a post about Harry Potter with Campbell in mind. Because I'm just that cool.

In other news, I just returned from my second ever trip to New York, where I saw 5 shows in 4 days. Here's my mini-review:

Wicked: Amazing, although the woman playing Glinda was a tiny bit too over-the-top bubbly (even for Glinda), but overall it was very good.

Curtains: I was very pleasantly surprised by this show. When I saw their number on the Tony's, I was a little underwhelmed. However, this musical completely rocked, in an old school homage kind of way. Really funny, and David Hyde Pierce is my hero.

Avenue Q: Very funny, a very tightly written show, and very talented actors, but seeing the show is a very similar experience to listening to the album (which isn't a bad thing... just an interesting thing).

Spring Awakening: Different than any musical I've ever seen, and very haunting, energetic, and beautiful. Listening to the album is nothing like seeing the show. This is not personally my favorite type of show, but I still really enjoyed it.

...Spelling Bee Very very funny, despite not having my favorite score ever. Very charming, and the audience participation portions are the most entertaining.

Overall, it was a very fun trip to New York.

And Now... James Recommends

http://www.myspace.com/natstorrs
Meet my best friend. Meet her beautiful music. She rocks, and it rocks. Go, and listen over and over.

How I Met Your Mother
A very funny, smart show with a heart. Not in the league with Arrested Development or the Office, but I really like this show. It has some very creative story telling for a traditional three-camera studio audience show with Bob Saget as the narrator. But, trust me, it's really funny, and it possibly has one of the greatest recurring sub-plots of all time: the slap-bet. They have the slap-bet episode on their myspace page, you should check it out.

There's a place where I can go and tell my secrets to: in my blog... in my blog, (in my blog, in my)...

My struggles with insomnia have taken a turn for the worse. Last night I simply could not fall asleep before 7 am. It's somewhat maddening, and it pretty much messes up my whole schedule daily schedule. And here I am, another post-3 AM writing session.

SPOILER ALERT: there are no spoilers in the rest of this post

If there is one thing that really upsets me, it's spoilers: a creation of our increasingly impatient information-hungry ADD internet culture. Spoilers only remove the fun of a surprise for the overwhelmingly satisfying feeling "wow, I wish I didn't read that." Spoilers kill fun.

Example: What's better than a surprise party? All your friends plan something just for you! In your honor. Instead of a mundane Monday night at home watching a rerun of "Two and a Half Men" on TiVo, a party came out of nowhere and rocked your face off. You'll be telling the story of how your awesome friends surprised you for years to come. "I noticed my door was unlocked, and I thought someone broke in, but then I heard everyone yell surprise! That was my favorite birthday ever."

Imagine this scenario, but someone (let's call him Brian) comes up to you earlier in the day. Brian says he's sorry that he has to miss your party tonight. You say "What party?" He laughs embarrassedly, and then the douche says "Oh, oh... you didn't know? Oh, fuck... Yeah, Mary said something about that... man, I'm so sorry." Then you have to spend the rest of the night pretending to be surprised, and you'll spend the rest of your life telling the story of how Brian was an asshole.

Spoilers are like Brian.

Which is why I'm reading the internet very carefully nowadays. I've been spending a good deal of this summer reading the Harry Potter books (I still have two and a half books to get caught up, but I've been reading at a good pace lately). I'm really enjoying the vastness and complexity of the story, and I can't wait to finish the books.
But I think that I speak for many when I say this: I might go psychotic if I get spoiled.

In all of this, I always wonder about what's next for J.K. Rowling. Not that anything has to be next. She could make herself a house, a bed, and a complete wardrobe out of 100 dollar bills and gold bars. And she has the right to. However, I would love to see what her "difficult second album" would be beyond the Potter stories. Also, I would love to see what happens to her creation after the test of time.

Of course, there is always the chance in our business-dominated society, the artist might lose her creation to the work of a corporate shill.


And wouldn't that be a horrible thing?

Worst midnight snack ever.

My mind just thought the sexiest phrase ever known:

"Man, my mouth tastes like pudding and chicken mcnuggets."

Ladies?


But, sadly, that was the truth, as I had yet another disgustingly unhealthy after-midnight snack as my late night writing session is going on past 3 AM. (this post will probably say it's a little after midnight. that's just because I never got around to changing the time zone on my computer clock)...

I'm currently working on a full outline for a show, and it's proving to be more of a struggle than I would have hoped. I always have a hell of a time naming my characters. I'm extremely indecisive when it comes to this, and I always feel my names are a bit too unoriginal. And once I start to struggle with a name, the procrastinator in me says "hmm... well, there are some pudding cups in the fridge." or maybe that's the morbidly obese man inside of me. or both. damn you, morbidly obese procrastinator! I would name you, but I can't decide on any fucking names.

I do like to name my characters after my friends; however, I get extremely embarrassed at the prospect of someone finding out that I used their name. I have no clue why, but it feels like the prospect of that girl in fifth grade finding out you like her.

And of course, there is that possibility that they would go "you named that douchebag after me?!"

I'm really going to have a hard time naming my child.

--EDIT--
I just made it so anyone can comment now. Even unregistered users, you freeloaders.

This post rated R: for language, sexual overtones, and fantastical battle sequences.

A JamesThoughts First: Two posts within 24 hours. Oh, what a glorious occasion, when the heavens opened, and the birds broke out into a glorious chorus, and the world cried out a scathingly sarcastic "whoop-di-fucking-doo."

I'm currently trying to figure out the origin of offensive words. This really stems from my curiosity of why curse words really seem to upset people so much. Now, I understand that there are hateful words that are full of venom meant to belittle others: Slurs that really shouldn't be uttered as it releases more hate into the world. But I don't get what's really so offensive about a word like "shit." Or "fuck" for that matter. Sure, used in a hateful way, like "Fuck you" or "you're a fucking piece of shit, you fuckshitfuck" and I get that it's offensive.
But what if you overhear someone say "oh, fuck, there's a fly in my soup, great." Now, a statement where the curse word just means "look, a bad thing has happened" would not be able to be aired on network television. I'm not condoning foul language... I just want to know why it's considered foul, or even sinful. Personally, I think the word kill is a much more vile word than fuck in it's pure meaning, yet you don't ever hear the word kill bleeped.

Let me know your thoughts on foul language. I'm very curious about your view. (And I'm also curious to see how many people actually read this, so please comment).

Another reason why I find curse words interesting is because I don't shy away from foul language when writing plays, sketches, or even musicals. It really depends on the tone of the piece, but as an artist I want to explore the human condition. And I've found that that condition sometimes includes some language my local priest would consider to be naughty.

Which reminds me of a story from Sunday school. One of the other children and I for some reason got into a conversation about "bad" words. He went on to say "Of course, there's the worst word of all to say..." I, of course, thought he would say "fuck," which I had only recently learned because another student got in trouble for writing down "fuck" on his paper, and I didn't know it was a bad word until I came home and asked my parents why someone would get in trouble for writing down "fuck."
However, my Sunday school compatriot proceeded to say that the worst word that you can say is "holy." That's right, holy. As in "Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners..." As in the Holy Spirit. As in the Holy Rollers. It made no sense to me. I got the whole "Don't take the Lord's name in vain" thing, but holy being the worst word you could ever say?

Details are hazy, but for some reason I called him an "imbecile," which apparently was another bad word according to this kid because I got in trouble for cursing. But, really, of all the words: holy?



However, he probably was just a forward thinker. He knew the worst word to say was holy because he predicted one of the most annoying traits in advertising: the holy explosion tease. You've seen it: it's in at least 67% of action movie trailers. The protagonist sees something startling, says "HOLY..." and before he can say anything profane, there's a sudden cut to an awesome explosion. Wow, I really want to see that movie. It has curse words and explosions!! XTreme!



shameless cross promotion:

http://runningwithdinosaurs.blogspot.com/
this is my good friend's blog. He's much better about updating it, and he plays a Dinosaur in a stage show. How can that not be awesome?

Favorite Links

www.clarkandmichael.com: this is hilariousness brought to you by Arrested Development's Michael Cera.

www.radiolab.org: a very insightful and interesting radio show about science presented through story telling. It's similar to This American Life: 3 different stories, sometimes about normal people, all centered on a theme. And you might learn something! Or not. But it's full of great facts and actually pretty entertaining. You can download episodes via their website or iTunes.

www.youtube.com: i discovered this nice little diamond in the rough of the internets. You might think it's just for tube enthusiasts, but it actually features videos! I know you're skeptical, but maybe you should check it out. It might just be the next big thing (doubt it).