Governors Gone Wild!

So, if you don't know what's going on with New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, then either you don't own a TV or a computer. So, you probably aren't one of the two people who read my blog.

I'm not going to go off on a whole "hey, if you spend years cracking down on prostitution, maybe you should avoid getting caught engaging in prostitution" rant. That one seems a bit too obvious. But how about this: if you are going to champion an issue/vice, make sure it's not your vice. If you are on crack, maybe then you can pound the pulpit about how prostitutes are immoral and whatnot. You might be a crackhead, but at least you're not a hypocrite full of sweet sweet irony.

But I think Spitzer's problem was that he was pounding the pulpit a bit too much.

I'll be here all week folks.

The thing that really gets me is that he resigned today. Today is Wednesday. Apparently, he'll be out of office by Monday. I mean, I know he needs to pack up some things, but that's 5 whole days until he's gone. I see one of two scenarios:

1) The most awkward 3 damn work days you've ever imagined. Do the employees at the Governor's office get him a going away cake? What do you do for your publicly disgraced boss? I think getting him one of those joke penis cakes would be inappropriate, but I'd be tempted.

2)The wildest fucking 5 days in the history of New York Governors. He's playing with house money now. He's already disgraced, what harm would be an all hooker party at the Governor's mansion? It's a bit last minute, but I'm sure Eliot knows a few people.

A National Hero... in Misleading Quotes

From CNN.com



"Frank Buckles joined the Army at 15 and set sail for World War I on the same ship used in the rescue of the Titanic. A couple decades later, he was forced to eat from a tin cup for more than three years as a World War II POW. Now, at 107, he's a national hero."

Finally, after 107 years, it's about damn time that this man has done some good. Way to go from zero to hero, NOW, at 107. So, congrats, Frank, for finally doing something with your life.

But seriously, what the fuck do they mean? NOW, at 107, he's a national hero? What happened to those 50+ years after the Wars? Did he, at 107, finally like save a kitten or guess the showcase showdown exactly on Price is Right?

Frank Buckles, you've been a national hero since the age of 15. And here's to 107 more years of being a hero...
but not really, because i doubt being 214 could be anything but painful.

What I learned from Lost...

A man needs a constant in his life, or else he will lose his mind.

...and his brain will short circuit.

...and he will continue to go back and forth through time.

...but only his consciousness.

...but that won't prevent him from dying from an aneurism.

So... lesson learned. New goal: find my constant.

The constant of the day is Chick-Fil-A. Although I doubt that it's substantial enough to keep me from bleeding out of my eyes and nose (figuratively), it was quite satiating (literally) today.


Hopefully I'll find a better constant soon.