"It's fun to do bad things"

This video is a bit old, but if you haven't seen it... I can't even describe it for you.

At night, I go for a swim...

First of all, an apology: I haven't updated in quite some time. You know the routine: I apologize, and then I update. No harm, no foul.

Secondly, a complaint: I just bought "Tired of Waiting for You" by the Kinks on iTunes. The artist is listed as the Kinks. However, it is a really crappy cover by some chick, not the classic rock strains I was expecting to hear. I'm a little upset.

Thirdly, I have the strongest urge to go swimming right now. However, I'm feeling pretty damn sick right now, the worst I've felt in quite some time, so going for a swim is probably really stupid. This continues a streak of weird night-urges (or nurges) I've been having: cotton candy craving the other night, wanting to run last night, and then swim tonight. At least they're getting healthier as urges go.

Fourthly, go see the Dark Knight. I don't care if you've seen it already or not. Go again. Right now. It's the best movie I've seen in quite some time, and the more I think about it, the performances, the writing, the characters, the story arcs, not to mention the action sequences and just jaw dropping cinematography... the more I am amazed by it. Also, I've never had so much delight and awe watching a character come to life as I did seeing the late Heath Ledger transform into his terrifying version of the Joker. My brain is too dead for deep analysis, but I will say this: if I could only watch 5 movies for the rest of my life, it would definitely be on the list.

Speaking of movies, I have finished the first draft of my script (which I why I've been lax in updating this blog). It's my first first draft ever, and I'm pretty proud of it. Look to this blog for updates on the script as it goes forward.

Alright, that's it for this WWWupdate. My brain and heart feel like they are simultaneously imploding. It's an interesting feeling, but I wouldn't recommend pursuing it.

WWW 6: Courage

I've heard many times that if you're serious about being a writer, you'll treat it like any other job. So, this week, I've made a resolution to have writing be my summer job. I'd show up at 10, work until about 5, and see what I've got. So far the plan's going reasonably well, but not quite as I've predicted. Somehow, I've subconsciously taken up the late shift. My hours now start around 10 PM and go as late as 4 in the morning. I'm happy with the work I'm getting done, yet I'm a little upset that it's at the expense of my normal sleeping hours. But art is a mysterious force. This script I'm working on is an odd creature: it consumes my mind, it's hard to see what the future will be, and it keeps me up at night. Script, I have enough women in my life that do that to me, thank you very much.



But I'd like to talk a little bit about Tiger Woods. If you missed any bit of the US Open this weekend, I'm sorry. You missed what will go down as one of the greatest and most gut-filled performances of all time.

Here's a disclaimer, I'm a huge Tiger Woods fan. I have been for almost 10 years. I had his records posted on my wall in my old bedroom. I always wear red on Sundays when he's in contention. My screenname on AIM is a play on his Tiger Slam victory in 2001 at the Masters. Am I biased as to what happened this weekend? Yes. But am I amazed? Yes.

In April, Tiger underwent knee surgery and didn't play until last week's US Open. There was much speculation about how hurt he was. I personally thought his knee would be fine. It was revealed today the extent of Tiger's injuries while playing the US Open. His ACL was torn and he had two stress fractures in his left Tibia. His doctor had recommended that he have "6 weeks of inactivity" a couple of weeks before the US Open. If a doctor told me to be inactive for 6 weeks, I'd take it as a cue to be as lazy as I want to be. "Oh, you need someone to help you move? Sorry, doctor said 6 weeks of inactivity. I know, that was 8 weeks ago, but my leg's still kinda sore."

Tiger goes "I'm playing in the US Open, and I'm going to win it." Now, I'm sure that tid-bit wouldn't have come out if Tiger didn't make those putts on the 18th hole on Sunday and Monday to extend the tournament, but still, that takes a supreme level of confidence.

I have a deeply held belief that putting yourself out there, risking everything, and embracing what can be scary is the only way to find the greatest places in your life. Tiger would never make it seem this way, but I'm sure with his knee audibly rattling, the prospect of injuring himself even worse, and the prospect of risking all of that and losing: it was scary. And hard. But he embraced the scary, and he ended up with what he calls his "greatest victory."

In an interview earlier this year, Tiger Woods said that "every day is a chance to get better." He wasn't just talking in a golf context. He was talking in a life context. Every day is a gift given to us, and if we take advantage, it's a chance to become a better person, a harder worker, a better friend. It's a chance to face our fears and let go of our anxieties. It's a chance to start living the life we've always dreamed of.

I know, you're probably just thinking "Jeez, it's just a golf tournament. There are so many more important things in the world." And you'd be right. But watching this golf tournament, I saw that creed put into action, and it gave me hope. And that should be worth something.

Or maybe he is just another man dressed in silly clothes chasing a small white ball around. This weekend he just did it on one leg.

Weekly Wednesday Wupdate 5: Sickly Edition

Something that's wonderful: falling asleep next to the window during a thunderstorm.

Something that's awful: waking up and then realizing you have a fever.

I'd continue this post, but my thoughts are a bit delirious right now. Almost as delirious as this clip, from a real Japanese Game Show called "Quiet Library." It's great.

Lack Of Update: An Explanation

Things were looking upward after last week. "A Wednesday Wupdate? On Wednesday?!?!" most of you probably exclaimed, jumped out of your seats and feasted on the fatted calf as you slowly read my update over a period of 48 hours, savoring and analyzing every word like it was your last. Or so I imagined.

Also, I think that the first sentence in this update is so long and convoluted that it killed all other sentences. Sentences are survived by his wife, statements with ellipses, and his bastard children, fragments and run-ons.

Alright, I think that's enough grammar humor for the night.

So, this week was updateless. This doesn't count. It's more of a mea culpa. It's not that I haven't had anything to write lately. It's just that most of what life is throwing me right now deserves a more intimate writing. I would post the progress on the screenplay i'm writing or all of the poetry, but A) screenplay's story is a secret (I've only divulged any of the details to one person), and as for the poetry B) this is not the livejournal of a 15 year old. So, those private writings remain just that. For now.

I must just write a little bit about transformation, because it's been on my mind recently. It's hard not to be after seeing family members for the first time in years at my sister's wedding, and pretty much the only thing I heard all weekend was "I did not recognize you at all!" It gets a little old saying "yes, I got older," but it was amusing as well. This year featured one of the most profound changes in me. Physically, I grew up a bit. But really, mentally, I went through a dramatic shift, which I've only been seeing the fruits of very recently. The last four weeks of my second semester were really odd. I sat around and didn't do much, and played way too many hours of videogames. It was like I was in a cocoon, and now I've emerged. I feel oddly responsible, strangely health conscious, and suspiciously ready to take on anything. I work out and write every day. I'm doing things that scare me. And I'm playing far less videogames (I mean, I love videogames, but you would think that my consumption would go up rather than almost disappear once coming home). I feel like an adult, and for the first time, that doesn't scare me.

I'm ready now.

So, I'm now prepared to be surprised. We'll see what transformations life leads me to.

Life is good.

WWW4: On Time Edition?

Hello all. As I start this post, it is 11:17 PM EST on Wed, May 28th. Which would mean by some miracle that I will post the Weekly Wednesday Wupdate on an actual Wednesday. Praise the Lord.

Life has been uneventful the past few days, so I don't have much to talk about. I thought for this update I might give a few quick-shot reviews like I did for Indiana Jones for things that have captured my fancy the past few weeks. Here goes:


Grand Theft Auto IV The attention to detail in this game should be something as well thought out in all forms of media. At first, it's easy to miss why this game is so groundbreaking. It really feels like a GTA game, which millions of people are already pretty familiar with. But below that surface is a level of detail and storytelling that hasn't been realized in a videogame before. Roger Ebert thinks that, by putting the control into the consumer of the medium and taking some away from the auteur, videogames cannot be considered art. GTA IV is the biggest argument against that, as it defines good videogame storytelling as giving the player control. The game presents you with several choices to make, and they aren't easy. I had to struggle with moral decisions as the protagonist would. Being able to experience that viscerally is probably the coolest moment I've ever had encountering a videogame narrative. The game has some small technical flaws (pop-in is predominant in the XBOX 360 version, and I've experienced some slowdown recently, even though I didn't notice it much at all during the first many hours of the game). However, all of the flaws are not even noticeable in this amazing game. Buy it.

Boom Blox: A videogame for the Wii by Steven Spielberg. It pretty much consists of reverse jenga, where your goal is destruction of blocks. You get to throw balls at stacks of blocks and knock them over. Sometimes they explode. This should be screaming to the inner 5-year old in you. Playing with blocks, and knocking them over, is now part of our DNA. This game taps in on that. That's all I really need to say.

Prof. Layton and the Curious Village A great puzzle game. Even though the story might seem a little convoluted, especially when they do things like "This man is dead. There has been a murder... That reminds me of a puzzle!" it's still a very clever romp.

Moment of Truth: This show is nothing short of despicable. Much like boom blox and GTA to an extent, this taps in on our fascination with destruction. Unlike GTA and Boom Blox, Moment of Truth is in the business of destroying real lives, not fake polygonal ones or stakes of make-believe blocks (blox?). They bring up some two-timing, cheating sleezebag in front of their family and friends and ask them to truthfully answer questions like "Have you cheated on your wife?" or "Have you ever suspected your best friend of hitting on your girlfriend?" Usually the answers are yes. The contestants get paid for being honest. I guess it's compensation for ruining all of your personal relationships. And the worst part about it is that it's impossible to stop watching once you start. I feel dirty, but I couldn't look away. Sadly, I will stop watching this show not because it's morally offensive, but that I hate how it's edited. They do so many time-fillers and cheesy cut-aways to commercials that the American Idol results show seems about as action packed as an episode of Lost. And they will replay the same minute of footage at least twice during the show. It's like watching a 30 minute show strangely cut to be played out over 60 minutes. And that is truly sickening.

Speaking of Lost, the three-hour finale event is on tomorrow on ABC. I'm so pumped, I can hardly explain it. All I can hope is that there will be lots of Michael Emerson in the finale and that he lives into next season. He's a fantastic actor, and Ben is easily my favorite character on TV right now. Yeah, eat it House.

Actually, I really like House too.

WWW 3: The Saturday Edition

So, apparently this whole Wednesday update thing is working out. First update was on a Wednesday. So far so good. Next update was Thursday at 4 in the morning. That's practically Wednesday. And the third: well, it's Saturday. That's all you need to know.

I'm feeling jetlagged and sick as hell, so this update probably will be just quick shots of wisdom, but next week there will definitely be a slow-drip of enlightenment headed your way. If my posts can be likened to alcohol and morphine, that is.

-I saw Indiana Jones on Thursday. Some background: Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark is my favorite movie. I love it. When I was a kid I would put on my dad's golfing hat (it looked something like a fedora) and run around pretending my blanked was a whip. I love Indiana Jones. So, my hyphened-word review: Anti-climatic. I personally didn't feel any build-up or excitement leading to the movie, which I would think be a good thing. No expectations needed to be met then. But somehow, hype and excitement before something makes me will whatever it is to be better, and I enjoy myself more. The whole thing was just a little bit underwhelming. It wasn't bad by any means, just not excellent. I'd gladly see it again, but it just didn't live up to Indiana Jones.

-I just discovered that my Italian grade might have changed from pass/no pass to letter grade somehow, even though I enrolled as pass/no pass months ago. I'm not going to fret over something as trivial as grades, but my strategy for the semester had that my craptastic skills in Italian would be hidden by the guise of a pass/no pass. Now it's out in the open, possibly never to be removed. Like that time you saw your roommate naked. Yeah, that's never going away.

-I had a brilliant idea for a story come to me in a dream today as I was waking up. I felt bad writing it down, as it felt like I was plagiarizing my own mind. Hell, I think I just came up with a new title for this blog.

Alright, the room can now be described as spinning. I should probably go to bed... and not sleep. Jetlag. Sons of bitches.

WWW 2: Weekly Wednesday Wupdate: The Late Edition

So, after vowing to steadfastly update every Wednesday, I missed my first deadline. Smart James.

Today was the last day of the semester. I had a final for my worst class and then I realized I had an essay due an hour before I needed to turn it in. I think I prevailed with flying colors. That's the best excuse I can give for being late. I was busy attending to real life. If you can call it that.

Today was the strangest mixture of bliss and agony that I've had in a single day. Actually, to categorize anything that happened today into either category would be a gross exaggeration. Today was really just a mixed bag:

The bag included:

+Trying to sell my books at the bookstore for some cash.
-Only making five dollars. Not exactly a sound financial return. I wonder if sub-prime mortgages affect the used book market at USC. Oh, and side note, USC will go on to sell that five dollar book for at least fifty. It feels dirty just to think about. OJ Mayo can't be the only one making a profit here in Southern California.
+Deciding to buy a Southern Chicken Sandwich from McDonalds with that five dollars.
-Losing said five dollars on the way to the McDonalds.
+Coming back to my friend waiting for me with homemade cookies.
+Chilling with some great friends.
-Realizing that fate is a fickle bitch (credit goes to Ben Linus).


So, I'm done with my junior year of college. I don't want to make this blog too personal, but I guess it's inevitable. Everything I write, fiction and non-fiction, is a part of me. So I guess I cannot make it impersonal. But this is not the place for me to vent about life. More to muse about it. Because I find life to be amusing.

Unless the comedy of life is that we all find out that it's a fucking tragedy in the end. Then that would suck.

Please don't let that be it.

Or that the comedy of life ends up being Reba.

That would be even worse.

WWW: Weekly Wednesday Wupdate. Episode 1: A New Ear

I originally meant for this to be subtitled: A New Era, but my typo amused me more. So, here we are, the start of a new ear, with me updating this blog at least once a week. Why Weekly Wednesday Wupdate? Because alliterations are fun, asshole. Just go along with it.

But why weekly? To give my readership (I think it's just me, my friend Ian, and whoever stumbles upon this after typing in a google search for "blog porn," as I just included that phrase to see what happens) a reason to come back to this website. And to give me an activity to do for the next 3 months. Even though I do have 5 finals starting tomorrow, my mind is in full summer mode. I've been wearing shorts, sleeping in, and drinking what should be illegal amounts of lemonade. Yep, that's summer to me.

To those of you who searched for "blog porn," I deeply apologize. To make it up to you, I will post a sexy spanish music video that I produced a few months back. Also, you're a sicko. Welcome to the blog!

So, this concludes the first WWW. I hope you enjoyed it. This one was just a bite sized portion, but it feels good.

The start of a new ear!

To make up for the last post

I hope you forgive me. This is the ultimate gift I can give.

Worse than taking a bite...

I've taken some time off of the blog. Right after I decided that this should be a weekly thing. That's somewhat typical of my writing process. Once I start one project, I become enamored with it. Then a new project comes up, and I become enamored with that, leaving the old project to flounder and squirm in the back of my mind for survival. If you think that's deep or poignant, it's not trying to be. I'm just explaining some of my shortcomings as a writer. Or really, my recent mentality.

Well, I just finished my fourth show in a row this year at USC. These past few weeks have been good and torturous. Good because I was mentally spent after months of constant rehearsals. Torturous because it has been filled with the ironic anxiety that can only be caused by not having somewhere to be or something to do.

So, I've spent much of my time trying to keep myself busy and ignore those pangs that say "hey, why aren't you busy all the goddamn time? is something wrong with you?" It's one of my neuroses that I would get try to get rid of if I wasn't so amused by it. That could ultimately be my downfall as a human being: the fact that my eccentricities, neuroses, and shortcomings just fascinate me. These are nothing big, but just kind of funny. Prime example would be mail. If I know I have a package coming, I'll start checking my mailbox constantly a few days before I know the package will arrive. It's stupid, and I can even get a little nervous if I think the package will come when I'm not home, thus not able to sign (if it needs signing), and thus I have to wait even more and go through the whole rigamarole again the next day. So, I just very eagerly anticipate mail. I think through some mental determination I could easily eradicate the problem. But then again, it's kinda like watching a puppy who sees a dog on tv and starts barking at it. It's insane and nonsensical in a way, but you don't stop it because it's so amusing.

But that's not what I logged on here to write about. To be honest, I'm not sure what I wanted to write about. Oh, yeah, now I remember. I got distracted with the whole mail thing. I wanted to talk about narrative in three forms that interest me: theatre, film, and videogames. But now that I think about it, that discussion seems a bit silly right now.

See, here's what I was talking about at the start of the post. I start writing something with one intent to discuss narrative structure and merits, and I end up talking about neuroses and puppies. Jesus, maybe it's just an improvisational spirit, or more likely it's just ADD.

I'm now wondering if this is the worst blog post of all time. It might just be. Wow. I wonder if they have awards for those kind of things. And if so, how would it be determined? I would imagine most bad blog posts would be largely unread. Like this one will be.

well, www.worstblogposts.com hasn't been taken yet. maybe i should buy the domain, and then start my own award for the worst posts ever. Hint: this post will win.

I advised a friend of mine to say the phrase "worse than taking a bite out of a turd sandwich" in front of a crowd today. I wonder two things: Did he do it? and am I a bad friend to suggest such a thing? I'm guessing the answer to both is yes.

So, because this post was so awful (it really was, and it gets worse everytime I remind you that it was bad. Why, it was worse than taking a bite out of a turd sandwich! It's true). I feel like I need to make it up to my readership (all two of you) with two things:

1)I'm going to start updating every Wednesday night from now on. With posts much better than this.
2)I will post a video of Mascots hurting themselves in a few minutes.

I love you all.

Governors Gone Wild!

So, if you don't know what's going on with New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, then either you don't own a TV or a computer. So, you probably aren't one of the two people who read my blog.

I'm not going to go off on a whole "hey, if you spend years cracking down on prostitution, maybe you should avoid getting caught engaging in prostitution" rant. That one seems a bit too obvious. But how about this: if you are going to champion an issue/vice, make sure it's not your vice. If you are on crack, maybe then you can pound the pulpit about how prostitutes are immoral and whatnot. You might be a crackhead, but at least you're not a hypocrite full of sweet sweet irony.

But I think Spitzer's problem was that he was pounding the pulpit a bit too much.

I'll be here all week folks.

The thing that really gets me is that he resigned today. Today is Wednesday. Apparently, he'll be out of office by Monday. I mean, I know he needs to pack up some things, but that's 5 whole days until he's gone. I see one of two scenarios:

1) The most awkward 3 damn work days you've ever imagined. Do the employees at the Governor's office get him a going away cake? What do you do for your publicly disgraced boss? I think getting him one of those joke penis cakes would be inappropriate, but I'd be tempted.

2)The wildest fucking 5 days in the history of New York Governors. He's playing with house money now. He's already disgraced, what harm would be an all hooker party at the Governor's mansion? It's a bit last minute, but I'm sure Eliot knows a few people.

A National Hero... in Misleading Quotes

From CNN.com



"Frank Buckles joined the Army at 15 and set sail for World War I on the same ship used in the rescue of the Titanic. A couple decades later, he was forced to eat from a tin cup for more than three years as a World War II POW. Now, at 107, he's a national hero."

Finally, after 107 years, it's about damn time that this man has done some good. Way to go from zero to hero, NOW, at 107. So, congrats, Frank, for finally doing something with your life.

But seriously, what the fuck do they mean? NOW, at 107, he's a national hero? What happened to those 50+ years after the Wars? Did he, at 107, finally like save a kitten or guess the showcase showdown exactly on Price is Right?

Frank Buckles, you've been a national hero since the age of 15. And here's to 107 more years of being a hero...
but not really, because i doubt being 214 could be anything but painful.

What I learned from Lost...

A man needs a constant in his life, or else he will lose his mind.

...and his brain will short circuit.

...and he will continue to go back and forth through time.

...but only his consciousness.

...but that won't prevent him from dying from an aneurism.

So... lesson learned. New goal: find my constant.

The constant of the day is Chick-Fil-A. Although I doubt that it's substantial enough to keep me from bleeding out of my eyes and nose (figuratively), it was quite satiating (literally) today.


Hopefully I'll find a better constant soon.

The First Annual James Grosch Awards

Hello, welcome to the First Annual Jamesies. I'm your host, James Grosch. The writers strike prevents me from writing my own monologue, but that can't prevent me from noticing things off the top of my head. Everyone loves award shows, don't they? Yep, they really do... Politics sure are crazy now. People are voting. Different people are winning. Some older fellow won in a state a few days ago. Yep. Current events are interesting, aren't they? Um... Oh, Britney Spears' sister is in a little bit of controversy. Which brings us (thank God) to our first award.

The Least Surprising Controversy of 2007 Award: Jamie Lynn Spears. A teenage girl from a small town in the South is pregnant?! My word.

Best Movie that James Saw in 2007 Sweeney Todd

Worst Argument of The Year: Fiesta Bowl Pre-Game Show The introduction to the Fiesta Bowl, there was an argument to see who had the better Country Music, West Virginia or Oklahoma. This is similar to arguing who can eat the most mayonnaise or who can drop the biggest turd.

2007 "Photoshop Hero" Award for Excellence in Photoshop: Kelly Combs, for her interpretation of "Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte"

Ian Littleworth Memorial Award for Excellence in Mancrushiness: Paul Rudd.

And now to present the next award with some really great, "spontaneous" banter, Brad Garret and Verne Troyer.

BG: I am tall and have a deep voice.
VT: I'm short.
BG: We're such a crazy pair, I am now going to be irritated at life.
VT: Speaking of crazy pairs, here's the winner for most disgusting couple of 2007: the two girls and a cup girls! (Note to readers of my blog: I've never seen this video. I've only heard stories. DO NOT investigate what this award references. Having just heard about it, I have lost any innocence I once possessed. I am a hollow shell of a man).

2007 "I'll start my work in 30 minutes" Award: TIE: Halo 3 and Rock Band. Please, give me my life back. Please.

Manute Bol Award for Reaching New Heights in Tallness: Zack DeZon

The Ian Littleworth Memorial Dissatisfaction Award: Zack DeZon, for being called tall in the last award.

Mind Scrambler Moment of 2007: Lost Season Finale

Biggest Ripoff of 2007: The Chuffies, yes, Larry Sousa, your awards are a sham.

The Mitt Romney Award for Dedication to Waffles, brought to you by Waffle House: Steve Edlund, for his idea of a waffle party.

Tom Selleck Award for Mustaches: Ian Littleworth's Mustache, but technically not Ian.

Quote of the Year 2007: "It's Me, It's Will Harris"- Will Harris

Makes Me Laugh Through My IPod Award: David Sedaris

2007 Heroes Award for Dreadful Dialogue but Awesome Story: Heroes

Badass of the Year: Kenton Chen, CIA

Most Not in California and It Makes Us Sad: Natalie Storrs

Man of the Year: Parmer the Charmer

Lifetime Achievement Award: Keith Barletta. Congrats, Keith, you've officially peaked.

Most Creative Use of a Tongue on Stage, brought to you by Gene Simmons: Natalie Peyser, for the multiple times she was voted a lover in Drood.

Doesn't Count Award: Ian Littleworth, sorry, Ian, this award doesn't count.

And, now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for. The 2007 James Grosch Comedy award. And the winner is...

Parmer the Charmer

Oh, actually, I'm so sorry, I accidentally grabbed the envelope for the Man of the Year award. Congrats again, Parmer.

Now, for the real 2007 James Grosch Comedy Award. And the winner is: The Council of Three (Natalie Peyser, James Grosch, and Ian Littleworth) Like a three headed Hydra, the Council of Three is dominating comedy like it's Hercules (before he realizes how to kill it, and without the demigod strength and such... that Hercules).

Alright, well, now for the after party! Thanks for reading, and tune in next year for the second annual Jamesies.

You can call them Jamesies.

The First Annual Jamesies Awards: This Friday. Exclusively on JamesThoughts. Also, on Spike TV, but really, who watches Spike TV?